Relocating to Berlin: What I will miss, and what I won't

It is one of those truisms of life that, in order to move toward something new, you have to move away from something old.

For me, Washington, DC, is something old.

Because of the peculiarities of my life history, I originally moved to Washington, DC in either 1989 or 1994, depending on how you look at it.  While it took a while to grow on me, I now truly love Washington, and will be sad to leave it behind.  Perhaps as something of a catharsis, before I leave, I wanted to list all the things that I will miss about living in the capital city of the United States.  Then, to remind myself of why I want to leave, I will also list all the things that we will be very happy to leave behind.

What we will miss:

The Embassies:  Any time you drive up Massachusetts Avenue's "Embassy Row," you can't help but be awed by the beauty of this part of town.  Even better, for events like the European Union Open House or the Around the World Embassy Tour, you can even walk through the embassies, taste foods and drinks from various nations, and see some truly outstanding music and dance performances.  There is no better way to spend a summer day in DC than by visiting a dozen or more countries.

The Museums:  Yeah, Washington, DC has the Smithsonian Institution, which is one of the world's greatest museum complexes.  That alone would be awesome.  But Washington also has the National Gallery, the Corcoran Gallery, the U.S. Holocaust Museum, the Phillips Collection, and dozens of smaller but equally excellent museums.  People visit Washington from all over the world to see our museums, and it is not hard to see why.

The Monuments:  When I first moved to Washington, and before I had to go to work every day, my favorite thing to do was to climb up to the Lincoln Memorial, walk around to the back, and to sit watching traffic cross the Potomac River over the Arlington Memorial Bridge.  It was sublime.  From the front of the Lincoln Memorial, you can look at the Washington Monument reflected in the Reflecting Pool where Martin Luther King, Jr. gave his "I Have a Dream" speech.  As you walk up the National Mall, you have the Jefferson Memorial, Roosevelt, and King Memorials off to your right.  There is the Vietnam Memorial on your left, and the World War II Memorial straight ahead.  Ultimately, you are aiming toward the Capitol itself, which even though it is a working building, still stands as a monument unto itself.  Whatever one thinks of what goes on inside, the Capitol is an awesome sight.

The Schools:  One of the great advantages of living in the most highly educated city in the United States is that there is generally a high emphasis placed on quality education - at least in some parts of the city.  At the elementary and secondary level, the Washington region has some of the best public school districts in the country, that are matched by many excellent private schools.  If you want to have more of an international flavor in your education, there's the International School, the German School, the Lycée Rochambeau, the British School, and dozens of other public and private language immersion schools representing every corner of the globe.  Moving up to higher education, you get to Georgetown University, George Washington University, American University, Howard University, Catholic University, and many others.

The Restaurants:  Another advantage to being such an international city is that Washington is the home to a vast array of ethnic restaurants from all over the world.  Forget the overpriced "famous chef" expense account restaurants.  Washington is the home to some of the best and most authentic Vietnamese, Ethiopian, Korean, or Central American food you will find anywhere - almost always at a very reasonable price.

It's Washington, DC for Heaven's Sake!!!:  Let's face it, it is really exciting to live in arguably the most powerful city in the world.  Just walking down the street, you almost can't help but bump into Congressmen, Senators, state Governors, Cabinet members, foreign leaders, and many other notable characters.  For a political junkie like myself, I always enjoyed running into folks who are regular denizens on Meet the Press.  Add to that, whenever there are big political movements, Washington is inevitably the epicenter.  It is exciting to watch history being made right outside my window.  This is probably the only place in the world where you can show up late for work and reasonably say, "Sorry, I was held up by a Presidential motorcade - again!"

What we will be happy to leave behind:

Traffic:  Washington, DC has consistently ranked as having some of the worst traffic in the United States.  Part of the problem is that there are pitifully few bridges crossing the Potomac River between Northern Virginia and Washington and Maryland, which creates horrendous bottlenecks on the Beltway, I95, and I66.  Part of the problem is that suburban development exploded during the 1990s and 2000s without concurrent expansion of infrastructure to handle the increased population.  But whatever the reason, my 18-mile commute regularly takes me between 1 and 1.5 hours each way.  After four years of her 40-minute commute to and from school, my daughter has made me swear that we will never buy another car.

Outsiders:  There is a large transient subgroup of the population in Washington that thinks the city is entirely populated by transients.  These are usually the political staffers who sweep into town following an election, and who then skulk out of town a year or two later when their candidate is either voted out of office or resigns after a protracted ethical probe involving underage prostitutes, shaved rodents, and duct tape.  In the meantime, these are the same people who believe that Washington should cater exclusively to their short-term parochial interests instead of meeting the needs to the people who were born here and who will still be here long after the next election cycle.  Washingtonians are strongly in favor of good public schools, vigorous gun control, expanding public transportation infrastructure, and local control of the budget process.  These Outsiders are not.  Guess who always wins?

Cost of Living:  According to 2012 data, the cost of living in the Washington area is 40% higher than the national average.  In most parts of the country, $750,000 will buy you a spectacular house on a multi-acre plot of land, and it will probably include a pool and a master suite the size of your typical basketball arena.  In the Washington region, $750,000 will get you a modest 3 bedroom house in a solidly middle class neighborhood.  If you really want to impress your neighbors the way your cousins are able to do in the "fly over" states, you'd better be pulling in a salary in the high six-figures.  A "normal" salary by national standards plants you solidly among the "working poor" in Washington.


The Weather:  To put it succinctly, Washington weather sucks.  In the summer - which lasts most of the year - temperatures range between hot and muggy and skin-meltingly broiling with air that is more liquid than actual breathable gas.  In the winter, heavy snows are regularly predicted, but they seldom become anything more than a disappointing cold drizzle.  Of course, this lack of actual snow doesn't stop all of the Outsiders (see above) from sliding their cars sideways down major roads and then abandoning them so that they block traffic in both directions the moment the sky looks even vaguely threatening.  If you think that I exaggerate, you have obviously never tried commuting in Washington.

Egos:  One of the biggest disadvantages of living in arguably the most powerful city in the world is that everybody on your block is constantly competing to demonstrate that they are either more powerful than you, or that they have better access to powerful people than you (for a great example, follow any conversation here).  This - ahem - "tool swinging" contest manifests itself in other ways as well.  My house is nicer than yours.  My kids go to a better private school than yours do.  My law firm is more prestigious than your law firm.  My car is faster than your car.  My private golf club excludes more minorities than your private golf club.  Etc. ad nauseum.  It's a competition that nobody can ever win.  But it doesn't stop people from trying.

All things considered, we will be sad to leave Washington.  But only parts of it.  And somehow I think we'll get over it.

Relocating to Berlin: Ending a Career

Just under 8,000 days.

That is how many days I have spent at my company.

This Friday will be my final day.

I was just four months out of college when I started working at my company.  During that brief time, I had done temp work at the National Labor Relations Board and the Smithsonian Institution for slightly above minimum wage, while sending my resume in response to every job posting in the Washington Post for which I was even remotely qualified.  In the end, my summer a couple of years earlier spent working in Prague on a documentary about the Czech "Velvet Revolution" was the remote qualification I needed to become an appraiser of video and audio equipment at television and radio stations.  I was hired on October 17, 1994 for the princely salary of $16,000 per year.  But the job came with pretty decent benefits, including health insurance, paid vacations and sick days, 401k retirement program with employer matching, and most importantly as it ended up accounting for over 1/3 of my income, 1.5x overtime pay.

I was lucky.  The work was vaguely interesting, and was relatively intellectually challenging.  Even better, I was working for a small company that made a lot of money, and my hard work did not go unnoticed by my employers.  When my supervisor left the company six months after I was hired, I was promoted to replace him.  After two years of increased responsibility, appraising the fixed assets for some of the largest media acquisitions in history, I was put on partnership track.  Five years after that, I became a partner, at which point the company put me through business school to get my MBA.  When that was done, the company put me through the accreditation process to become an Accredited Senior Appraiser through the American Society of Appraisers (there are only 679 in the world).  In addition to broadcasting properties, over the past 19 years I have also appraised publishing companies, automotive manufacturers, healthcare facilities, renewable energy companies, and even satellites, worth many hundreds of billions of dollars in aggregate.


So, here I am, just under 8,000 days after I started, and I am one of the most experienced, most highly educated, and most highly accredited machinery and technical equipment appraisers in the world.

And I don't want to do any of that any more.

Part of me thinks that it is crazy that I am giving up a lifetime's work to follow a dream in Berlin.  While I have enough money to live on for a while, I don't have a job lined up in Berlin.  Even if there are opportunities for appraisers in Berlin - and I am sure that there are - I simply don't want another appraiser's job.  My current company, as well as other accounting firms, have been asking me if I would be willing to continue work on a freelance basis from Berlin, and my answer has always been a firm "no".  Surely this is insanity.  Who willingly turns down lucrative work when they have no other employment prospects?

The other - more dominant - part of me thinks that it would be crazy to go to all the trouble of moving half way around the world, just to continue doing the same job that I have always been doing.  This voyage to Berlin is more than just a change of scenery.  It is an opportunity for a change of lifestyle; a change of mindset; and ultimately a change of career.

Of course, the easy part is to say "I want to do something else with my life."  The hard part is to define what that "something" is.  I honestly don't know.  I have an advanced degree in Strategic Management and almost 15 years of experience managing a very successful consulting firm.  But what does that mean in real terms?  I enjoy writing and public speaking.  But do I have the gumption, skills, and marketability to be able to make a living at them?   I find politics and international relations fascinating.  But have my experience and education pointed me in the completely opposite direction?

Time will ultimately tell.

If nothing else, I comfort myself with the idea that I can always go back to valuation consulting if my savings run out and I still don't have a steady job.  But I would consider returning to appraisals a personal failure.  I accept many things in life that I cannot control, but personal failure is not one of them. 

Relocating to Berlin: Fear Factor

For the past several months, I have been in a constant intimate embrace with Fear and Dread.  Now, any time you are in an intimate embrace with two strong figures, the typical response is something like, "Mmmm, kinky!"  But let me remind you dear readers, I'm not talking about embracing Tiffany and Chastity.  This is Fear and Dread we're talking about. 

So, after belaboring that crude sexual metaphor rather too long for you, what exactly am I talking about?

Fear of selling the house (it closed yesterday).

Fear of leaving my comfortable and high-paying career of almost 19 years (my last day is a week from today).

Fear of taking my daughter out of an awesome school that she has attended for four years (her last day is today).

Fear of selling almost all of our earthly possessions (the final Moving Sale is tomorrow).

Fear of leaving Washington, DC, where we have lived for over 20 years (we are making the final move a little over a month from now).

Fear of leaving behind good friends and loving family.

Dread of moving to a country where we don't speak the language very well.

Dread of moving to a city that we have visited several times, but that we don't really know.

Dread of flying our cat across the Atlantic, and getting her through customs.

Dread of placing our daughter in a school that we have never visited.

Dread of trying to find an apartment that meets our needs, but that doesn't eat through our savings too quickly.

Dread of trying to furnish and equip a new household.

Dread of trying to find work that I enjoy, that also pays the bills.

Dread of trying to make new friends.

. . . oh my God, what have are we doing?!?

Being an immigrant (or emigrant, depending on how you look at it), and facing this long embrace of Fear and Dread has made me think about the experience of my own ancestors who immigrated to the United States generations ago.  What compelled them to leave their own established lives to move to a new country?

Perhaps they may have been running away from something in their old lives - I'm not sure, I wasn't there.  But perhaps they were diving into the unknown because, despite all that they had in the warm comforts of home, they wanted something more for themselves and for their children.  It has been difficult to express - and even harder to figure out in the first place - what exactly I am looking for.  Perhaps Berlin won't even provide it.  But it is this compelling yearning for something new, something different, and something better, that drove my own ancestors to look beyond their own embrace with Fear and Dread, and is now driving my own family past our own embrace with Fear and Dread.


To be honest, this embrace hasn't been all that gratifying anyway.  Fear and Dread are too skinny, and they smell of patchouli.  It's time to leave them behind and find something new to embrace.

Relocating to Berlin: Mietwohnungen in Berlin

For years now, my wife and I have been religious viewers of House Hunters International on HGTV.  For those unfamiliar with the premise, each episode profiles an individual or a family as they search for housing somewhere in the world.  It is cheaply made "reality" TV, and each episode is formatted exactly the same, all the way down to how one home out of a selection of three is ultimately chosen ("...let's eliminate one, and then chose from the remaining two. . . ").  But despite all of this, we try to never miss an episode.  And when they profile somebody moving to Berlin, all work stops, the DVR is set, the family and neighbors are called in from the fields, and we sit glued to the TV.  Other than its tendency to mangle the city's geography when describing neighborhoods, and other than its well-known habit of just making stuff up in the interest of making the "stories" more compelling, the show does help to offer some insights into what apartments in Berlin are like - and to a lesser extent, what you can expect to pay for them.

Ever since deciding to move to Berlin, my family has been conducting its own version of House Hunters International, although admittedly it has been more of a "virtual" version conducted via the Internet.  Fortunately, in this modern age, it is a relatively simple task to look for real estate anywhere in the world.

However, Berlin is a city of 3.3 million people covering 344 square miles, so it helps to narrow one's search somewhat.

My wife and I have visited Berlin several times over the past few years, and we have evolved somewhat on where we have wanted to live.  When we first visited back in 2001, we could not help but fall in love with Charlottenburg.  With its stately homes, vibrant shopping on Kurfürstendamm, beautiful parks, and relative convenience to downtown, we thought this might be the place for us - assuming that we would be able to afford it.  In addition to the fantastic department store KaDeWe and its mind-blowing food floor, Charlottenburg is also home to an awesome military book store that I make a point of visiting every time I am in the city.

But as one writer put it, Berlin never truly "is", it is always "becoming".  On every subsequent trip back to the city, my wife and I explored more neighborhoods.  Back in 2001, Berlin was still essentially two cities.  The Berlin Wall had fallen a scant 12 years previously, and while it was filling in remarkably quickly, you could still easily track the path of the Wall, and you could still easily see the difference between the bright and relatively affluent western half of the city and the somewhat dingier eastern half of the city.

The most recent time we visited Berlin, the changes could not be more obvious.  This time, we rented an apartment in Mitte.  This former East Berlin neighborhood - adjacent to the Brandenburg Gate, the Fernsehturm, and Friedrichstraße - was incredibly lively.  Older buildings were either renovated, or were being renovated.  Shops and restaurants filled every street.  Parks were filled with young families.  It was thrilling to see the transformation.

As we walked up Bernauerstraße toward the Mauerpark for its massive weekly flea market, we also became familiar with Prenzlauer Berg - quite possibly the hottest neighborhood in the entire city for young professionals with families.  As we later discovered, Prenzlauer Berg is home to a growing array of technology companies and software development firms, increasingly earning it the reputation of being the Silicon Valley of Germany.

I don't know whether it is because everything in Mitte and Prenzlauer Berg is so new, or whether it is because these neighborhoods are siphoning off money, investment, and attention from Charlottenburg - rendering this more established neighborhood more drab in comparison, but my wife and I determined that these two former East Berlin neighborhoods were where we wanted to start our new life.

With a new school selected for our daughter, the race is now on to find an apartment.  With our savings and any income that we can make from consulting until we find more permanent employment, we have been pleasantly surprised at what we will be able to afford.  At least at the moment, Berlin is a remarkably inexpensive city in which to live.

With all of this in mind, it will be incredibly exciting to start visiting apartments.  Almost exciting enough for House Hunters International.

Relocating to Berlin: Ice Hockey

One of the hardest parts about moving away from the Washington, DC area has been leaving behind two very special groups of people:  the Reston Raiders ice hockey team, and the Washington Capitals ice hockey team.

I took to ice hockey relatively late in life.  Growing up in Winnetka, IL, many of my friends in elementary school would come to class every day wearing their "Winnetka Ice Hockey All-Stars" jackets, and I could only look on in envy and admiration.  At the annual skating parties, while my friends would be zipping around the ice, I would be slowly inching my way around the boards in a pair of poorly constructed and ill-fitting rental figure skates.  This continued throughout school, when I ultimately - and unintentionally - ended up attending college at a top-tier D1 ice hockey school.  Despite the fact that none of my friends were on the college hockey team (student athletes at that level would rarely, if ever, be seen in the presence of the mere mortal students), many of them played intramural hockey.  Occasionally on weekends my hockey playing friends and I would all go to one of the local malls to go ice skating.  Again, my friends would zip around the ice, while I would slowly inch my way around the boards in a pair of poorly constructed and ill-fitting rental figure skates.


These experiences were deeply scarring for my already fragile psyche.

The problem was not that I didn't want to play.  My close proximity to hockey played at extremely high levels caused me to hold an intense interest in the sport.  The problem, at least as I rationalized it to myself, was that ice hockey is a very expensive sport, and I never had much in the way of disposable income.

By the time I had become an adult, was married, and had a job making decent enough money that I could afford it, it was time to finally take up hockey.  I was 26 years old.  I couldn't ice skate.

Of course, when you play a sport, you also tend to become interested in the local professional teams that actually play it well.  For me, that team is the Washington Capitals (aka the "Caps").  The year after I took up playing hockey was the year that the Caps made it all the way to the Stanley Cup Finals (until being humiliated by the Detroit Red Wings in 4 straight games).  Ever since that point, with greater or lesser degrees of fervency over the years, I have always been a Caps fan.

15 years have passed since I first started playing hockey, and I am still not very good.  In fact, I am pretty terrible.  But I have fun with it.  When my daughter first started ice skating at the age of 2 (because she was going to grow up to be able to attend skating parties without being overcome with shame, if I was going to have anything to do with it!), she took to it immediately.  When she saw me enjoying playing ice hockey, she decided that she wanted to play ice hockey too - only better.

We live only 15 minutes away from the home rink of one of the best ice hockey youth programs,  and the best hockey school, in the Mid-Atlantic region.  As soon as we could get her in (getting a place on a team is very competitive), my daughter became a Reston Raider - quickly moving up to join a travel team just as we were beginning to discuss moving overseas.

So now, with a move to Berlin in our sights, what does our family have to look forward to?

Berlin is a surprisingly vibrant hockey city.  We will be trading our beloved Washington Capitals for the Berlin Eisbären.  Like the Caps, the Eisbären are an excellent team that represents their respective nation's capital city.  Unlike the Caps, the Eisbären don't choke in the playoffs every single bloody year(!!!) - having won the German national championship 7 out of the last 8 years.  Also, unlike the Caps, the cost of tickets to watch games is somewhat less than the cost of buying a new refrigerator.  We already have purchased our jerseys, and are looking forward to seeing as many games in person as possible.

Finding a new team for my daughter to join was potentially more of a challenge.  Would we be able to find a youth hockey program that is as good as the one that we are leaving behind - particularly one that is welcoming of girl players?  Quality has yet to be seen, but at least it looks like there will be a few options.  Considering where we plan to be living, F.A.S.S. Berlin appears to be a good option for us. Their practice rink is relatively nearby, and they seem to have a relatively open door for welcoming new children to come to practices to try the sport.  I have already exchanged e-mails with the coach, and he seems excited at the prospect of having an American trained and experienced player on his roster.  Another possible option is the Eisbären Juniors, which is the youth program for the professional Eisbären team.  Like the Little Capitals program in Washington, I get the impression that this team is kind of a Berlin "all star" team that takes the best of the best from the various youth programs in the area.  We will see if my daughter has either the skill or the desire to work to join that team, although she says she does.


When we first started looking at moving to Berlin, we had many concerns.  Would we be able to find good jobs?  Would we be able to find a reasonably priced apartment in a nice neighborhood?  Would we be able to get our daughter into a quality school?  Perhaps unlike many other families relocating overseas, we were also concerned about maintaining an outlet for our collective interest in ice hockey.  It may have been more by accident than by design, but Berlin seems to be the perfect destination.